What Happened to the Polenta...

“They look like grits, “ was the reply I got to my outraged exclamation when E asked about dinner the other night.  Of course we both know they're pretty much one in the same – with apologies to any Italian friends who may beg to differ.  Nonetheless in THIS household, there's a difference and for my beautiful polenta to have fallen apart into grits was something of a disappointment...even if they did still taste marvelous.

This isn't to knock grits but for someone who pretty much grew up in the South, I actually had very little experience with the stuff.  Looking back I can laugh at my first reactions to the stuff and remember quite clearly being about 9 or so years old.  We'd just moved to North Carolina and I belive were either still looking for a place to call home or in the process of moving into a house when my Mom took us (being younger siblings and me) to brekkie at a local diner.  The special included grits with no other option and so, upon my plate, intruding on my scrambled eggs was this white, almost gelatinous...stuff.  Oh, with a pat of butter dying on top.  Mom and I shared a look before finally she took the first taste and likely saying it tasted fine.

I remember taking a taste and forgetting the whole incident until I had the Elfling and was left face to face with a bowl of the stuff the day after giving birth.  Admittedly, I completely ignored it which left the nurses baffled and offering me, with most dubious looks, oatmeal.  I politely declined and quietly starved till lunch.  Fortunately, E's Mom taught me the fine art of making grits, including to add important things like salt and pepper.  And cheese.

I think a big difference for me, in regards to polenta, is that it's fancier.  It gets started with sauteed aromaticish things and cooked in broth as opposed to milk or water.  It's always a savoury dish with garlic or herbs...or hell, both!  Almost exclusively, I use parm cheese with it and maybe that's why it seems thicker than grits.  Typing this I wonder too, if a difference between packaged grits and cornmeal affects that.  Who knows?

Anyhow – what did happen to my polenta?  I'll tell you what – kids did.  The rule around here is that you need to be in by dark and I'd plotted for dinner to be ready around that time.  My polenta was thick, creamy and just...all that is good.  I had this fab veggie and tomato sauce to serve on top for those who wanted to try.  Darkness fell across the yard and....my kids were nowhere to be seen.  Not wanting my dish to dry out while keeping warm, I added a little milk and personally stewed before the Diva came in full of apologies.  I can accept being late because of a house rule to help pick up after playing so she got a pass for that but reminded that clean up needs to start a little sooner next time.

In the wait for my eldest it seems polenta integrity collapsed.  It turned looser, no longer thick and rich.  Maybe too much heat?  Too long a wait.  It collapsed.  Into grits. The Elfling...oooh....let's just say she thought she was being clever getting her little sister to summon me to the door, as if that would save her from being in the trouble she got.  Heh....no such luck that night.

She found my keys in the forest the next day.  The polenta?  Delish...despite the collapse.

For the Love of Risotto

I'm not sure where the idea came from or perhaps it was inspired by all the dreadful looking risotto that's been shown on Kitchen Nightmares (alas, the US version) but wherever it came from, it's had E wanting to try some for quite sometime.  While perusing the rice selection at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago he brought it up again and so it came to pass a) While I knew it was a short grain rice, I couldn't think of a proper term for it and b) rice selection at this particular store sucks monkey balls as I'd say 90% of it is long grain.  Not wanting to disappoint a sick person...or at least I think he had a cold at the time, I decided to attempt improvising with medium grain rice which isn't short but it's not long either.  Duh...ahem.

Anyhow....as is customary for me when I embark on a culinary journey of newness, I checked my sources.  Usually my go-to bible is my Betty Crocker cookbook.  I think I skipped that this time and went straight for the internet, comparing random risotto to the lessons of Alton Brown. Ultimately, I think I pretty much followed his teachings...maybe.  Kinda sorta.

I was very happy with the end result – despite not being the right rice, the risotto was creamy and all the goodness of someone's comfort food.  A little light on the shrooms but only cause I didn't fee like having two kids fling theirs onto my plate as if they were carcasses of some rogue fleet of well..slice shroom bug creature...thingies.  Would I do it again?  Absolutely!  Committing to memory the type of rice I need (arborio ftw!), I've since wept at the fact that a 5lb bag of it costs as much as like...a 50lb bag or long grain.  How can that be???  Back in Germany I exclusively cooked with short grain rice and it never cost that much!  *le sigh*

Oh well – another day, another attempt at something new!

Wait...were actually wanting to know technique?  I'm going to go about as free from with this recipe as my actual cooking was, so here we go!

darque faerie's semi-deluded risotto recipeish attempt

Start off with a pot of about 5 or 6 cups of chicken broth heating up and in truth for this entire exercise, you might want to keep it nice and piping warmish hot.  Grab up a saute pan and heat up a lil evoo before tossing in piles of sliced up shrooms.  Season with s&p, add a lil beat up garlic and let it cook away happily.

In a heavy saucepan, heat up a lil evoo before tossing in very finely, attempting a point of microscopic minced onion.  Live with people who like onions?  No need to attempt such extremes.  Let it sweat....gain a lovely translucent quality with a lil s&p.  I think I ooh'ed and ahh'ed over it for 5 or 10 min while stirring up my shrooms.  After that, add a pile of minced up garlic and two cups of rice – stir it up and let the rice itself be all nice and glossy and get a lil translucent as well – your tummy will thank you!

When you get to that point or are tired of worrying if you'll get to a point where translucent turn browning or blackened, add about a cup of wine.  I took a sip of an open bottle of vihno verde that was in my fridge, found it yum and added a tiny bit to the caramalizedish shrooms before being just shy of the actual cup that went into risotto.  Marvel at the hissing and protesting noise it makes before stirring it in and letting it absorb some.


At this point, I just used ladle to add broth a bit at a time – usually just above covering the rice.  I think you're supposed to be chained to the oven, constantly stirring but with lowered heat and diligence of being in the kitchen – I stirred a great deal and listened.

They say your risotto talks to you – to listen to it when deciding when to add more broth to it.  I found that my risotto is unlike the coffee pot at IHOP.  Instead of pleasantly chattering about, it mostly grumbles so you really do need to stir and keep an eye for it getting a little too dry.  As it absorbs liquids, add more to it.  Lovingly stir it, rejoice in how creamy it looks despite the medium grain.

This really should go on till you run out of broth to add – a surreptitious taste should indicate that the rice is at least not crunchy hard...mine was perhaps firm but yielding and omg so tasty!  I for the life of me can't recall if I went on dumping some butter in but I did toss in some grated parm along with my cooledish shrooms.  If I didn't mention it above, after deglazing the shrooms and letting the wine reduce, turn off the heat! Anyhow....stir and serve!

Despite the relative vagueness of my technique, as I said earlier, it was delish!

I'd like to end this post with a lil shout out to my friend, Ads – hey Ads!  I was going to talk about my polenta but I'm kinda tired tonight so look forward to it tomorrow.  No...it won't be titled “For the Love of Polenta” - I promise!