September 11, 2001

Not even noon here and already today's been a hard one.  It's not just cause I'm at work and have to deal with the crap of the day.  Set to the news, all that's really going on today is the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  Still today, watching the images from back then is very difficult for me.  Even now, as I type this out, there are tears in my eyes - there have been throughout the morning.  This day, ten years ago, is a day I don't think I'll ever forget, that will ever stop being seen so crystal clear in my mind.

Ten years ago, there was no Diva in my life.  The Elfling was 3 years old.  E was in the Navy.  We lived in military housing, on a weapons station.  I'd worked till 5am on the day of the 11th, come home and eventually made my way to bed so get a lil sleep before the Elfling got up.  For some reason, I just woke up and as was my habit at the time, i sat at my computer to take a look at the day's news.  It was really weird, the website I used totally crashed but not before I saw a glimpse of the headline.  Something to do with an airplane hitting one of the Twin Towers.  I shrugged it off and went on to email and found that everything seemed to be down.  Giving up on getting anything done on my computer, I wandered over to the living room.  That headline really bothered me, so I put on the news and joined the countless other people who were at home, work...wherever - to see the events unfold before us. 

While watching, this morning, as they replayed the events of ten years ago, the editing on screen didn't quell the unedited memories in my head.  Of course....maybe I'm wrong, maybe they weren't edited images and I missed the sight of people plummeting to their deaths - the abject horror in the voices of the newscasters as the second plane crashed into one of the towers....the screaming that later followed when they collapsed.  While we should never forget, I hope some of those things were edited out because the fact I can still see them in my mind is upsetting enough without having to actually see it on tv.  You know...again.

I don't know. There's more I'd like to say but I don't know where I'm taking this today.  The people who died are perhaps watching us from above.  The people who did this - in a special place in hell.  Families and friends left mourning?  They're in my prayers and thoughts, but then, even ten years later, that's a frequent thing for me.